Monday, April 26, 2010

Did that kid just hit on me? A post by Mrs. Robinson.

This afternoon I was at the library (which is all this post has to do with books, sorry) and as I was leaving, two respectable looking young men came in the door. I'd put them in their late teens.

I did the door dance with one of them. You know the one. I swerve, he swerves, we both go the other way, no wait, after you, how about I go over here? Right. So that happened. I smiled at him because it was funny, and I left. Nothing was said.

Past that exit is a foyer before you get to the real exit that goes outside. In this foyer, I turned off into a corridor to stop at the ladies room, and when I was partway down that hallway, I heard someone behind me:

"Excuse me?"

I turned. It was the door dance kid: "Are you married?"

Huhwhaa?

I must say, though, his timing was impeccable. Just this very day I found another gray hair.

"I'm . . ." (trying to calculate your age, can you even vote?) ". . . married."

He gave me a warm smile and a polite apology, told me to have a nice afternoon, waved, and left. I went into the ladies room and wondered what the heck just happened.

I've been told a few times in lo, my many years that I'm fairly oblivious to come-ons. I tend to just assume everybody is friendly, and that's all. But, wow. "Are you married?" That's pretty clear, right?

But wait.

Maybe he wasn't a teenager. Could it be that he was really 25, not 18, and that I'm so old now that a 25-year-old looks 18 to me?

Or what if I'd said I was single, and then he'd said, "Super. Would you give me a hand with my tenth grade sociology project? I'm supposed to interview women in mid-life who have not found love."

I imagine many endings to the alternate conversation, and all of them end in embarrassment. I just don't see myself as the cougar type, although I would really like to have my own theme song.

5 comments:

  1. That's hilarious.

    My own story is less flattering. When I was in the bar that James Crumley used to hang out in for the essay I wrote about him, I was sitting with a couple old timers just BSing. I'd had a couple beers, and when I ordered another one, the bartender -- a pretty young woman probably somewhere in her 20s -- said "This one's on me." I say, "Wow, thank you, I must be particularly charming today!" She gave me a smile and a wink and said, "Well, you know I've always been something of a chubby chaser."

    Doh! Self image, meet the soles of my feet!

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  2. Nice! Thanks for sharing. Your story makes me even happier not to know the alternate ending to mine.

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  3. ... sounds like fodder for the next book to me!

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  4. Well, first of all it really beats getting called 'Ma'am' .... hate that.
    I have about 40 male college students -- so ages 18-21 ... and if you put them all in a row you could guess ages from 16 to late 20's so I'd go with a flattering ending :)

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