Ode to First Draft

by Rachel Brady

First Draft, our road has never been easy

You wear me down and make me queasy

I yearn for you, pursue you still

You never call when you say you will

We agreed on a year, you showed up in two

What the hell is wrong with you?

Plot holes, time warps, misspellings, grammar

Flat dialogue, word choice, scenes that ramble

Implausible twists, sagging middle

Cannot believe I wrote this drivel

Second Draft's handsome, Third Draft is smooth

Final Draft's sexy and confident too

You are a Two. Those guys are a Ten.

Why can't you just be more like them?

Instead you are stubborn, messy, and crude

Always late and in a mood

You don't comb your hair, your prose does not flatter

And your word count? My God. Yes. Size does matter.

You drive me to drink and complain all the time

Since the day we first met, it's been whine whine whine

Yet I tolerate you, inconsiderate ass

Because you clean up nice on the second pass.

The End